According to urban legend, somewhere in the wild of Georgia lurked a 12-foot, 1,000 pound wild pig named Hogzilla. Now, at that size, he's somewhere close to the size of a small rhino, which is considerably larger than most farm-raised pigs who top out at about 650 pounds. And wild boars? Well, they don't often get bigger than a few hundred pounds, so pretty much everybody figured the legend was the stuff of a couple of good old boys' imaginations and a long night of drinking. That is, until they caught him. In a picture that launched a thousand emails, the men killed poor Hogzilla, strung him up and snapped a couple of photos with themselves smiling next to the muck-caked squealer for posterity. The feral pig, they reckoned, was every bit as big as they figured, and probably twice as mean, maybe three times. (He was, in fact, closer to 8 feet and 650 pounds). Either way, they did what any good hunter would do with his prize: bury it as fast as possible. All I could thing was: what a damn shame, wasting all that bacon.

Waste not

Much has been said, recently, about how we eat-and how much goes to waste. In few places is that more true than in how we eat meat. Think about it: the average consumer buys about 60-70% of the pig-the ham, bacon, spareribs, loin and maybe a shoulder for cooking at home. That leaves a considerable portion of the pig, some 40 pounds or so of jowls, feet, tail, neck, fat, and bone in an average 250-pound pig. Some of that goes into hot dogs, gelatin and other by-products of the meat-slaughtering process, but for the most part, some 30% of the animal is all but unwanted.

I can only think of what my great-grandmother would say to wasting a single morsel of the animal. Undoubtedly it would be in Hungarian, but the gist of it would be, "Are you kidding me?" as she sucked the very marrow out of a hambone. Then sucked it again and probably threw it into a pot the next day for stock. Or so I'm told.

Reading through our family recipe book, which is mostly old Hungarian recipes for things like goulash and spaetzle...and well, tongue and heart and liver (blah!) it becomes very evident that until recently, all that was left of the pig was the oink. Nothing was wasted, from the feet to the tail, it all got boiled down, fried up, or mixed into some gelatinous goo and eaten. Thankfully.

Nice little shrink-wrapped packages

Unlike many cooks on this site, I'm more of an eater than a chef. I tend to look at the neat little meat packages lined up at my grocery store with, well, some confusion. I can roast a nice pork tenderloin, fry up some bacon and pull out a Honeybaked Ham at Christmas with aplomb. But what exactly do you do with Boston Butt? Or a tongue?

That's my mission: finding out not just what to do with it, but where it came from, and why it's good. Because life is more than neat little packages. There are stories to be told and adventures to be had in learning about an animal that's been part of our diet since, well, nearly the dawn of man being able to catch and spit-roast the little buggers.

So, my goal in eating a whole entire pig is two-fold: to not waste any part of the animal (as much as my stomach and wallet will allow for) and to learn how to cook a pig from head to tail. And leave nothing but the oink behind.

Gisela's Kidney Stew

This is one of great-grandma's authentic Hungarian recipes.

2 pounds pork kidneys, sliced 3/8" to 1/2" thick
1 pound onions, chopped 1/4" dice
1 fresh clove garlic, pressed
salt to taste
1/2 to 1 tsp. fresh ground black pepper
6-8 medium potatoes, peeled and cut in 1/2" chunks
1 cup chicken or beef stock
3 Tbs. lard (or butter)

In 3-qt. heavy bottomed casserole pot with cover, saute' onions and garlic in lard or butter until they wilt. Add washed and well-drained kidneys (if you actually cook this, you need to prepare the kidneys by soaking them in 2Tbs salt and cover with water, which will draw out the blood. You do this for about 2 hours and flush with cold water, squeezing the kidneys until they're grayish. Then drain.)

Turn up the heat and stir well until kidney and onion mixture comes to a boil. At this point the kidneys and onions will give off some liquid. Add stock if needed to about 1 cup.

Cover the casserole and bring to simmer. Continue to simmer 1 1/2 to 2 hours until kidneys are tender (they won't get mushy). Stir and add more liquid as needed to keep from burning. When kidneys are almost done, add potato chunks. Stir well and add water to cover, and bring to full boil. Cover and reduce to simmer, simmering for 15-20 minutes until potatoes are soft. Add salt and pepper to taste. Serves 6-8.

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